Breaking All the Rules Brenton Style
by tmltml71
Summary: I'm Brenton, I'm back, and I'm breaking all of the rules.
1. Chapter 1

1.) Do not run around the base singing 'Bust the Windows Out Your Car'.  
>-Mechs will magically disappear.<br>-Especially Dino  
>-Tooks us weeks of randomly yelling around the base to convince him that no one was actually going to bust his windows.<p>

2.) Do not run around the base singing 'Before He Cheats'  
>-Again every mech on base will magically disappear.<br>-Especially Dino  
>-Took two whole months to get that bitch back out<p>

3.) No swearing in front of sparklings  
>-Human or Autobot<br>-That means you Brenton (Sam)  
>-Sam? (Brent)<br>-Yes?  
>-GET OFF OF MY LAPTOP!<p>

4.) Autobots, try not to glitch when there are humans close by.  
>-If I almost get crushed again, it's over<br>-I'll find a way to turn your aft into a tin can

5.) No hitting on any taken women on base  
>-How was I supposed to know that she had a mech? (Leo)<br>-Leo? (Brenton)  
>-There are just so many pretty betties<br>-LEO WHAT EVER THE EFF YOUR TWENTY MIDDLE NAMES ARE SPITZ, GET OFF MY LAPTOP!

6.) ALRIGHT, NEW EFFING RULE! QUIT TOUCHING MY SLAGGING LAPTOP, BEFORE I FRAG YOUR LIFE UP!  
>-I will do it.<br>-It'll hurt.  
>-I promise you.<br>-Megatron will seem like a friggin puppy compared to me.

7.) Having the autobots help with you school work is acceptable, however having the autobots do it for you isn't (this includes tricking the answers out of them).  
>-If you are honestly stupid enough to think that they'll willing help you cheat then you're a dumbass<br>-Which is probably why tried to cheat in the first place

8.) It doesn't fucking matter whether the chicken or the egg came first.  
>-Prowl quit glitching<br>-Boths sets of twins quit fighting  
>-Ratchet Throwing things into the arguments doesn't help<br>-Optimus there is no stopping them  
>-Lennox, Epps, quit laughin this isn't fucking funny.<p>

9.) All human charges, threatening to have your guardian crush, shoot, run over, and or experiment on an a stupid fragger isn't allowed.  
>-Prowl made me write this<br>-He's tired of having to yell at me  
>-It hasn't deterred me<br>-Bee, let's go kick Bobby Johnson's ass.

10.) Accusing the autobots of brainwashing and experimenting on humans is not allowed under any circumstances.  
>-I am not brainwashed, I'm in love<br>-No they dd not tell me to say that  
>-Bee rocks my socks<br>-He also rocks my-  
>-SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! OH MY GOD! I NEVER EVER WANT TO TO FINISH THAT SENTENCE! (Sam)<br>-_"Oh baby__  
><em>_I'll be stuck to you like glue baby__  
><em>_Want to spend it all on you baby__  
><em>_My room is the G-spot__  
><em>_Call me __  
><em>_I can make you bed rock_ (Bumblebee)  
>-OH MY GOD!<br>-Bumblebee stop torchuring the boy (Optimus)  
>-Alright that's enough for the rules for today (Prowl)<br>-But Prowl...  
>-Don't make me come over there (Ratchet)<br>- [Sees wrench on hand] Finw oh supreme overlord of aft welding and wrench throwing


	2. Chapter 2

11.) Trying to be smart my continuously referring to Ravage as a pussy is a major no.  
>-It's not funny any more<br>-She'll rip your aft to pieces  
>-I'm not going to help you.<br>-You deserve it  
>-Jazz<p>

12.) Do not under any circumstances start a fight between any set of twins  
>-Ratchet will throw a wrench at your ass<br>-I'll end up kicking Trent's ass  
>- You're noy gonna kick my ass (Trent)<br>-You wanna bet? (Brenton)  
>-Bitch please (Trent)<br>-[argument ensues]  
>-Glad we don't fight like that (Sides)<br>-Agreed (Sunstreaker)  
>-FUCK YOU TWO! (Brent adn Trent)<br>-Don't start with us Squishies (Sunstreaker)  
>-Cause we'll finish it (Sides)<br>-Listen here you prima donnas (Brent)  
>-Why don't you take your diva asses somewhere else (Trent)<br>-And go shine your fucking armor or something (Brent)  
>-[Chaotic screaming)<br>-Ratchet throws wrenches at Side and Sunny, holoform throws them at Trent and Brent  
>-OH SHIT! (Brent)<br>-WRENCH! (Trent)  
>-[whine] Ratchet (Sunny and Sides)<br>-All of you shut your fragging mouths

13.) PLaying COD or any other fucking game like that on base isn't allowed.  
>-Jazz is appalled by you tactics<br>-No one else on base gives a fuck how many kills you got  
>-Prowl will glitch<br>-Sides adn Sunny will start playing and get super competetive ending up in a brawl

14.) Trying to steal Brent's (my) chocolate is a big ass mother fucking no!  
>-I will hunt you down<br>-And kick your ass  
>-Scratch that<br>-I will kill your ass  
>-Kill you so hard you fucking die to death<p>

15.) Quoting insanity wolf is banned  
>-"Dashing through the snow get the fuck out of my way"<br>-It was fun wile it lasted.  
>-Ratchet will give you a mental health test<br>-I passed  
>-Suck on my hypothetical dick<br>-"Why can't we just all get along?... Dick."

16.) You can't imagine the ementity of the fuck I'm not giving isn't an acceptable response for everything  
>-They told me to right this<br>-You can;t imagine the emenity of the fuck I'm not giving about this rule  
>-I love Ke$ha<br>-Or how about this "And on this day, not a single fuck was given

17.) My Little Pony is banned from base  
>-This means watching it, talking about it, quoting it, even thinking it.<br>-Ironhide, I'm writing this because of you  
>-No one gives a fuck about Rainbow whatever the fuck it's name is<br>-Annabelle should lay off the TV anyways

18.) No more booze or high-grade (except for Brent)  
>-Why does she get high grade? (Sunny and Sides)<br>-Because you fragtards if you would listen when Ratchet talks, you would know my Cybertronian half can only run on high grade.  
>-I don't get hammered on anything really<br>-Kind of sucks  
>-Anyways do I really need to explain this one?<br>-We really don't need a bunch of liquored up mech and humans

19.) Rapping or just plain playing "_Look at Me Now_" isn't allowed.  
>-I think the only bots who didn't glitch were Jazz, Bee, Sides, Sunny, Jazzy and Ravage<br>-Thank Primus that Ravage can fix a glitching processor  
>-Jazz since when do have kickers?<br>-Where the fuck do you fit them?  
>-Epps had some seriously sick flow<br>-Didn't know he could talk that fast

20.) All mechs should avoid femmes when a chick flick is being watched  
>-Emotional femmes think about it<br>-Movies include Steel Magnolias, Titanic  
>-Rose's stupid ass, could've balanced on the fucking thing so there was room for Jack<br>-Bitch  
>-I would've made some room for him<br>I'm gonna stop because this dumb bitch can get me fucking raging


	3. Chapter 3

21.) Cussbot is banned.  
>-Do they really think I need an app for that?<br>-Fucking twat slave  
>-I prefer the traditional ones though<br>-Mother fucker  
>-Cock sucker<br>-Prick

22.) Natalie's Rap is banned from base  
>-Damn Brent you a crazy chick<br>-Shut the fuck up and suck my dick  
>-Fuck you man it's my name Bee's screaming<br>-I never said I was a role model

23.) They told me to put down that quoting _Mean Girls_ is banned, so I said "Boo you whore."  
>-This isn't happening.<br>-Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And uh... "Caddy" Heron. Do we have a "Caddy" Heron here?  
>-Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed.<br>-On Wednesdays we were fatigues  
>-Hell, no. I did not leave the South Side for this!<p>

24.)No watching war movies or documentaries in front of the bots.  
>-Prowl will glitch<br>-I'll have to hear another lecture on how sad it is that humans are able to do this to ourselves.  
>-At least we kept our wars on our own planet.<br>-That's right, you ain't got shit to say to that.

25.) If Brent (me) growls, run like a mother fucker.  
>-If you make me growl then you really fucked up.<br>-Your best bet is to hide behind Optimus or Bee.  
>-I don't give shit how much bigger than me you are, I'll end you.<br>-Throw a wrench Ratchet. I dare you. I fucking dare you.  
>-That's right back off.<p>

26.) Making fun of Lennox and Epps for saying "bring the rain" all the tim  
>-I never said it sucked.<br>-It's just all they ever say.  
>-Now I'm getting glared at.<p>

27.) Don't mention the tooth fairy around Ironhide.  
>-He gets pissed.<br>-He'll shoot at you.  
>-Blame Ratchet.<br>-He told every one.  
>-IO'm getting glared at again.<br>-Damn.

28.) Keep Ratchet away from power lines.  
>-Apparently they're tingly.<br>-Blame Hide.  
>-Their both glaring at me.<br>-I think I'm more afraid of the wrench right now rather than the cannon aimed at me.  
>-Oh shit.<br>-I'm running.

29.) Don't ask Wheeljack to fix jack shit.  
>-It will never be the same.<br>-It might possibly get blown up.  
>-Or catch on fire.<br>-Or it will be returned so completely advanced you won't ever figure out how to fucking use it.

30.) Do not leave the dumb ass twins unattended.  
>-I refuse to babysit.<br>-It's not my fault they broke the wall.  
>-Or fucked up Hide's cannon<br>-Or stole Sunny's paint  
>-Or Ratchet's wrenches<br>-I told you I wasn't watching them


	4. Chapter 4

31.) Making comments about Jazz and Ravage being in love are major fucking no's.

-Ravage will tear you to pieces.

-Jazz will sabotage any nonmilitary thing you have planned.

-On Earth when to people irritate the shit out of each other, it's usually cause they like them.

-Sometimes people hate each other so much they love each other.

-And other times they hate each other so much that they fuck.

-Yeah… The red optic is scary, so I'm just gonna walk away.

32.) Keep your shit in your quarters.

-Sarah and I are tired of cleaning up after your lazy asses.

-Bots you too.

-Clutter pisses me off.

-Sarah will light your ass up if Annabelle isn't around.

33.) If you spill something clean it up.

-Applies to everyone.

-If I slip one more fucking time, I am going to flip shit.

-Or I'll pay back the favor.

-Sounds like the beginning of a good prank. (Sideswipe)

-The fleshy might be on to something. (Sunstreaker)

-Don't even think about it. (Prowl)

-I'll weld you aft to the fragging ceiling. (Ratchet with wrench)

-ALL OF YOU GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY LAPTOP!

34.) No fucking with Hide's cannons.

-He will kill you.

-We still haven't got the bubble solution off of everything.

-It was funny though.

-Especially when all the mechs started falling.

-And when ratchet wrenched the twins.

35.) Using holographs and holoforms to scare people into thinking they've been possessed is another thing not allowed.

-Trent screamed like a bitch.

-And pissed his pants.

-I mean that literally.

-BOO!

-You know I don't fuck around when it comes to ghosts. (Trent)

-Pussy.

-Fine. Be ready for spiders bitch. (Trent)

36.) Every spider you see on base kill the shit out of it.

-Ironhide you can blast them all to pit.

-Ratchet you can just throw all the wrenches.

-Trent you do it and I kill you.

37.) Do not self-diagnose yourself.

-Ratchet will tell you you're wrong.

-Then you'll be forced into a checkup

-Let's not forget about the lecture you'll get.

- If you're really unlucky, you'll get a mental health check.  
>-Since you're having delusions of being a medical professional.<p>

-I'm pretty sure I know when I have a headache.

38.) Don't give Ratchet any reason to give a mental health test.

-He won't give up until he finds something wrong.

-Even if you pass.

-So far I have anger issues, and am bipolar.

-No. I just have a low tolerance for dumbasses and bull shit.

-Sunny is a sociopath.

-No arguments

-I'll kill you femme. (Sunny)

-A- GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY LAPTOP

-B- That didn't help your case at fucking all.

-You didn't helo your's either (Sunny)

-Fuck off

39.) DO NOT INTERUPT STORY TIME!

-When Optimus is talking about Cybertron you are quiet.

-It's better than a damn book.

-I'm working on getting a special carpet for story time.

-Elementary school bitches.

40.) Running around singing S&M to Dino and Jolt is a no go.

-It sounded like a funny idea.

-A lot of shit went wrong.

-First off, Bee got jealous, because I was singing to Dino.

-Secondly Trent got jealous of mickey singing to Jolt.

-Then there was the whole deal of Dino glitching and destroying bay 33

-Jolt glitched, while working on Sides, effectively pissing off Sides, Sunny, and Ratchet.

-Of course there was the whole matter of Dino going into hiding.-Damn that fucking electrodisrupter.

-We then got harassed by soldiers for a week.

-Oh and Prowl glitched.

-We should do it again. (Mikaela)

-Hell fucking yes!


End file.
